Monday, October 7, 2013

UNCOMPROMISING FAITHFULNESS

1 Corinthians 10: 13
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind.  And God is faithful;
he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted,
he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

If you are looking for butterflies and daisies, then you have come to the wrong blog.  I want to get real with you.  I am going to attempt to put my heart and emotions on the line and share with you the truth of my journey of moving to Alaska since May 24th of this year.

I had dreamed for years of moving to Alaska to do God's work.  I remember the day I told Him I was ready; ready for wherever and whenever.
I admit, even today I feel the exact same way.  
On my flight to Alaska from the lower 48 (or as I have learned - "America" - that's what locals call lower 48'ers) I was ready to turn around on my last leg here.  I was scared of the unknown.  I missed my family and wanted the comforts of what I knew.  I didn't want to be so far away from everything and everyone who held me close to their hearts.  I obviously didn't jump or leap out of the plane, but rather I  stayed because I am still here - in fact, I have since acquired a home, car, and a church family (yep - I didn't mention a job b/c i am still without one).
The very first week I was here I endured some heartache.  I allowed the devil to manipulate my heart and mind which brought about the, "open mouth insert foot" problem.  This was only the beginning of that issue... This heartache began my questioning of whether or not I was really suppose to be here.  I did my best to put it behind me and I dove in with my focus on God and the people He placed me in front of.  I enjoyed week in and week out of not only amazing teams from across the US, but also the amazing, wonderful, beautiful, funny, energetic, awe-inspiring people of Kenai and Wasilla and Palmer. 
After 5 weeks, I had a week off where I learned that someone very special to me had lost his life.  I spent 2 days (including the 4th of July) trapped in my room inside of a church.  I cried.  I felt lost.  And again, I questioned whether or not I was suppose to be here in Alaska.  
I mustered the strength up to get through that week and again, trusting God, put my best foot forward headed to Wasilla/Palmer to serve.  It was while I was here in the Valley that I realized, yes - I am where God wants me.  I was again put in front of some of the greatest summer mission teams anyone could ask for.  In fact, I would say that I have met some life-long friends from this trip.  Not only did I meet some really cool "Americans," but I also had the amazing opportunity to engage with some incredible kids. Kids I would say probably wouldn't be given a chance in many of my Southern Baptist Churches back home.  Yes - I just said that.  It is true though.  How often do we (and I am including myself) look at someone and immediately make a judgment call.  Do we REALLY know that person enough to make a judgment based on a person's looks?  These kids, I do believe, are one of the reasons I am here.  Not just them, but all these people in the state.  I don't know what THAT looks like but I trust God will give me the strength and the knowhow to respond to the call that involves these people...
....
After GW finished, I was allowed to stay in the Church I am now a member of here in Wasilla.  They graciously opened their doors and even their vehicle to me.  In fact, the Preacher's wife even put me in contact with a lady who needed some nannying help.  I graciously took this job because to be honest with you, I had no other income and needed the money.  
Over time, my emotions began to get the better of me.  My job prospects, although multiple I qualified for, were disheartening.  I would apply for job after job after job only to get an email that said, 
"Thank you for your interest in the position but after reviewing your application 
we feel that someone else would be a better fit."  
This has happened week in and week out.  I have gotten even desperate, that despite a prideful heart of knowing what kind of education I have, I succumbed to applying for minimum wage jobs.  Not that a minimum wage job is bad, it isn't... but I had/have pride.... And oh boy, God let me know that wasn't a good thing.  He took me to a passage that told me I needed to swallow my pride and humble myself... That I am no better than anyone else just b/c of my pedigree.  Well, I did just that, I began applying for all sorts of local jobs: Wal-Mart, Target, Joann's - just to name a few... Then, I received a message from Joanns that I was looked over b/c I didn't satisfy their wants for a team member... 

So, with all of this and exactly 2 months out of GW summer ministry, I continue to find myself without a job.  My finances are dwindling - if you could even say that... I am not sure I have any money...  I am struggling.  Each day is a struggle.  The devil is working overtime in my heart and mind and making me question myself daily.  However, I trust God.  No matter how hard the devil works at making me question my worth and where I belong, I KNOW that God brought me here to do HIS work!
I have dove into work at the Church.  I am busy with different tasks such as outreach/visitation, Missions, and the Youth - just to name a few.  What I need from you though, is PRAYER.  Pray without ceasing for me.  I can't do this without you.  I need you today more than ever.  I do believe that God has the PERFECT job for me here in Alaska.  I do believe that God will bring all things together that will GLORIFY Him and not me.  There needs to be so much more of Him than me.  So please, continue to pray for me... Pray for the mission ahead.  I have not given up.  Pray!  That is all I ask... Pray!    
I am not asking for money, but if you feel that God is leading you to financially back me, I thank you for that.  Heed God's call.  It isn't always easy, but when we have faith in God, we trust that God will bring us through it, to it, and into His glory!  I trust that!  Do you?


1 Corinthians 10: 13
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind.  And God is faithful;
he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted,
he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

1 comment:

  1. Anna, you are already in the perfect job for you - reaching those kids! You just aren't getting paid for it. The money will come - just hang in there. And keep looking for a job - God will provide but in the meantime He is teaching you things you would not learn otherwise. We love you and have not stopped praying for you.

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